Of the Cubs...and the Sox
Meghan Callahan & Brandon Wall
Issue date: 4/29/09 Section: Opinions
Of the Cubs...
by Meghan Callahan
April in Chicago has arrived. One day, it is a beautiful, sunny 70 degree day. The next day is 40 degrees, cold and rainy. Amongst this indecisive weather is the start baseball--or as we in Chicago know it as, the great rivalry.
Once again, Chicago has two favorite teams. "The Go Go White Sox and whoever plays the ...."
Ah, yes. I enjoy a promoting this Crosstown brawl. In fact, I live for this time of year. I visit The Cel practically once a week, and I usually pick any verbal argument that I can with Cubs fans.
But something has recently been troubling me. I am not anticipating stirring up a heated argument with Cubs fans the way I used to. In some cases, I even have found myself trying to avoid the topic. I guess, in a way, it's grown old to me. I'm tired of hearing the same argument over and over and over again.
You all know which argument I am referring to. It moves in a circular motion. It is guided by one point (which is usually factually inaccurate). As a Sox fan, you are educated and know statistics, you rebuttal, but the Cubs fan is still stuck on that one original point that made no sense in the first place.
I have come to a realization over the years. Cubs fans lack logic....
1) Cubs fans confuse the words ballpark with bar. Yes, I understand it might be difficult for one who lacks logic to distinguish between the two. After all, they both start with the letters "B" "A." However, there is a difference! True, we Sox fans enjoy our Miller Lite and Bullpen Bar. However, we pay attention and know that there is an actual ball game going on! Cubs fans show up for the "bar" in the bleachers, don't pay attention to calls in the game and simply forget that there is a game going on.
2) Cubs fans are unable to process statistics, figures or any type of factual knowledge about the game of baseball itself. Cubs fans either inherit this logic-lacking gene (the "Cub") gene, or they develop overtime through consuming massive amounts of Old Style. Ask them about batting averages, winning percentages or a pitcher's ERA. Chances are, they will be rusty on this information for their own team-let alone being able to combat back, and know these statistics for the White Sox. As a White Sox fan, you are always ready to win a Crosstown verbal argument based solely upon facts. Therefore, you've done your homework, and you know these statistics for the Cubs.
3) "There's always next year." They've been quoting this line for the past century. If next year hasn't shown up yet, will it ever? Give it up! The goat, Bartman…these curses stay true, and the Cubs cannot overcome them. Face it, the Cubs have not won a single postseason game since the Bartman incident, and they've been in the playoffs twice since then! The Cubs are obviously a glorified minor league team who deserve to be stripped of their major league title. Face it, next year is never going to come.
4) Did you see the nets holding the concrete up above your head? This is my favorite argument… Cubs fans will rip on The Cel and act completely negligent to their own ballpark's disarray. Yes, Old Comiskey was beautiful, but it was starting to age. We did what many sensible ball clubs have done-built a new stadium. And The Cel is our new, magnificent home. Cubs fans, your stadium is 95 years old. It can't hold up forever. In addition, it has nothing special going for it. Oh, yes, I'm sorry… The ivy. IT'S A WEED! In addition, baseballs have become stuck in those damn things. Oh yeah, that's right, you don't care about the actual game of baseball, so the interference of an overgrown weed wouldn't matter to you.
5) Location, location…. Oh yes, how many times have we all heard about the "dirty" southside. In the words of a Cubs fan, "I might get shot if I come to your stadium." Well, I have been to The Cel countless times, and I never feared for my life. Oh yeah, and until the recent housing crisis, Bridgeport was one of the few places in the city where housing values were rapidly rising.
I pity these individuals. I've tried to help them see the light, but they'll never learn....
...and the Sox
by Brandon Wall
I humbly disagree with my esteemed colleague's view on the fans of Chicago Cubs.
Yes, we love to drink. Get over it. When you are sitting in the stands in 95 degree heat with that July sun beating down, you would want a beer or seven too. Yes, the bleachers are rowdy. That is the point, for better or for worse. Complaining about people getting tanked in the bleachers would be like me complaining about fireworks after a home run.
Yes, there are a whole lot of hokey curses and urban legends surrounding the Cubs, and there is a certain sect of Cubdom that will complain about them. However, the mass propagation of 'Goat curses' and 'Bartman Effects' are not Cubs fans, it is the media (who loves a good loser story) and anti-Cubs fans.
Our ivy is awesome, deal with it. Besides, it is better than a bar in the outfield!
There are any number of reasons the Cubs are better than the White Sox. We probably win more games and out-perform our South town friends (but don't ask me, I'm just a dumb Cubs fan; I don't pay attention to statistics). However, at the risk of alienating fans on both sides of the argument, I will admit that Sox fans are generally better looking and that Sox players' names make better names for dogs than Cubs players' names.
by Meghan Callahan
April in Chicago has arrived. One day, it is a beautiful, sunny 70 degree day. The next day is 40 degrees, cold and rainy. Amongst this indecisive weather is the start baseball--or as we in Chicago know it as, the great rivalry.
Once again, Chicago has two favorite teams. "The Go Go White Sox and whoever plays the ...."
Ah, yes. I enjoy a promoting this Crosstown brawl. In fact, I live for this time of year. I visit The Cel practically once a week, and I usually pick any verbal argument that I can with Cubs fans.
But something has recently been troubling me. I am not anticipating stirring up a heated argument with Cubs fans the way I used to. In some cases, I even have found myself trying to avoid the topic. I guess, in a way, it's grown old to me. I'm tired of hearing the same argument over and over and over again.
You all know which argument I am referring to. It moves in a circular motion. It is guided by one point (which is usually factually inaccurate). As a Sox fan, you are educated and know statistics, you rebuttal, but the Cubs fan is still stuck on that one original point that made no sense in the first place.
I have come to a realization over the years. Cubs fans lack logic....
1) Cubs fans confuse the words ballpark with bar. Yes, I understand it might be difficult for one who lacks logic to distinguish between the two. After all, they both start with the letters "B" "A." However, there is a difference! True, we Sox fans enjoy our Miller Lite and Bullpen Bar. However, we pay attention and know that there is an actual ball game going on! Cubs fans show up for the "bar" in the bleachers, don't pay attention to calls in the game and simply forget that there is a game going on.
2) Cubs fans are unable to process statistics, figures or any type of factual knowledge about the game of baseball itself. Cubs fans either inherit this logic-lacking gene (the "Cub") gene, or they develop overtime through consuming massive amounts of Old Style. Ask them about batting averages, winning percentages or a pitcher's ERA. Chances are, they will be rusty on this information for their own team-let alone being able to combat back, and know these statistics for the White Sox. As a White Sox fan, you are always ready to win a Crosstown verbal argument based solely upon facts. Therefore, you've done your homework, and you know these statistics for the Cubs.
3) "There's always next year." They've been quoting this line for the past century. If next year hasn't shown up yet, will it ever? Give it up! The goat, Bartman…these curses stay true, and the Cubs cannot overcome them. Face it, the Cubs have not won a single postseason game since the Bartman incident, and they've been in the playoffs twice since then! The Cubs are obviously a glorified minor league team who deserve to be stripped of their major league title. Face it, next year is never going to come.
4) Did you see the nets holding the concrete up above your head? This is my favorite argument… Cubs fans will rip on The Cel and act completely negligent to their own ballpark's disarray. Yes, Old Comiskey was beautiful, but it was starting to age. We did what many sensible ball clubs have done-built a new stadium. And The Cel is our new, magnificent home. Cubs fans, your stadium is 95 years old. It can't hold up forever. In addition, it has nothing special going for it. Oh, yes, I'm sorry… The ivy. IT'S A WEED! In addition, baseballs have become stuck in those damn things. Oh yeah, that's right, you don't care about the actual game of baseball, so the interference of an overgrown weed wouldn't matter to you.
5) Location, location…. Oh yes, how many times have we all heard about the "dirty" southside. In the words of a Cubs fan, "I might get shot if I come to your stadium." Well, I have been to The Cel countless times, and I never feared for my life. Oh yeah, and until the recent housing crisis, Bridgeport was one of the few places in the city where housing values were rapidly rising.
I pity these individuals. I've tried to help them see the light, but they'll never learn....
...and the Sox
by Brandon Wall
I humbly disagree with my esteemed colleague's view on the fans of Chicago Cubs.
Yes, we love to drink. Get over it. When you are sitting in the stands in 95 degree heat with that July sun beating down, you would want a beer or seven too. Yes, the bleachers are rowdy. That is the point, for better or for worse. Complaining about people getting tanked in the bleachers would be like me complaining about fireworks after a home run.
Yes, there are a whole lot of hokey curses and urban legends surrounding the Cubs, and there is a certain sect of Cubdom that will complain about them. However, the mass propagation of 'Goat curses' and 'Bartman Effects' are not Cubs fans, it is the media (who loves a good loser story) and anti-Cubs fans.
Our ivy is awesome, deal with it. Besides, it is better than a bar in the outfield!
There are any number of reasons the Cubs are better than the White Sox. We probably win more games and out-perform our South town friends (but don't ask me, I'm just a dumb Cubs fan; I don't pay attention to statistics). However, at the risk of alienating fans on both sides of the argument, I will admit that Sox fans are generally better looking and that Sox players' names make better names for dogs than Cubs players' names.
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